Wednesday, 14 November 2007


Whatever your opinion of three-limbed ex-Beatle banger Heather Mills, you can't deny the lady has an eye for a publicity stunt. Today's Metro, picked up at the station in a moment of madness - although on Wednesdays I have the excuse of reading the restaurant reviews and, well, a chap has to stay current - reports that Mills has decided to become a Gay Icon and is trying to book an appearance at some top London clubs.

As if that's all it takes.

I don't quite know what she'd do once she got to G-A-Y, having never been myself, but last week's London Shite reported that Danny and Dougie from McFly stripped off there and set their pubic hair on fire for a bet with the organiser, so I presume something like that would happen. Maybe they could burn Paul in effigy if Heather's bush is unavailable for incendiary purposes.

It occurred to me that with that attitude, she might just stand a chance.

I'll be waiting offstage with a Zippo in case she gets cold feet....

Sorry ... cold foot.