Tuesday, 2 October 2007

My gym is a scary gym

So I was in the gym on the Broadway doing a little chest work before my swim late on Monday, and there was this very intimidating, thickset guy in a silver tracksuit. He clearly shaved his head, but hadn't done it for a little while and so his bonce was covered in rather unappealing fuzz. Then he turned around and he'd had some kind of swirly faux-Maori meets Celtic knot down a dark alley design tattooed on the side of his head.

This was scary because I was swamped in a very baggy Intel t-shirt that I got as a freebie at some press conference or other, and also because I have the scrawniest legs in the multiverse. Seriously, aliens fly in from the Beta Reticuli Quadrant to take photos and maybe buy a souvenir queegle timer.

But I digress, also working on the weights was a smaller black dude, and as the Gym People tend to do they got talking. These people have their own social circle, I've worked out, that seems to revolve mainly around Arsenal and whey powder. So, all well and good, until Ugly Tattoo Man starting talking about some upcoming court case he was involved with, possibly as a juror, but no, it turned out he had thrown his girlfriend down the stairs and she had taken off with their kid...

I hotfooted it back to the changing room, put on my trunks and minutes later was in the pool with the friendly middle-aged Punjabi ladies.

Basically I need to make a ton of money very quickly so that I can afford somewhere a little more upmarket and a bit gayer.

That's not to say there aren't a few tasty looking chaps in these uncharted wilds of the People's Republic of Brent. There are a couple of very fit Polish boys who come in from time to time who I enjoy to look at surreptitiously, so life is clearly not without its compensations.


glitter said...

Wibble. I'd be too scared to actually go regularly. >_> *admires*

Sophie said...

Cute Polish boys are good :D But yes that conversation does sound scary, as does the tattoo on the head.