Thursday, 10 May 2007

Channel 4 News

By what strange process did Channel 4 News wind up with Boris Johnson going on to talk about Tony Blair's resignation??

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If you are calling to request a signed photograph of David Cameron, press one ...
If you are calling to tell us you think Hitler would have made a bloody good Home Secretary if he'd only been to Eton, press two ...
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Good afternoon, bookings, you're through to Margaret, how may I help you?

- Ah, yes, I'm calling from Channel 4, we're trying to use your internet booking system to get a spokesman for tonight, but there seems to be some problem with availability today, I can only...

We are experiencing very heavy demand for our spokesmen at the minute, as I'm sure you understand...

- Oh yes, of course, what with the resignation...

The resignation, yes. I can offer you Boris Johnson for a seven forty five appearance but he's booked in for Have I Got News For You at ten. You said you were calling from Channel 4, yes?

- That's right...

That would be that nice Jon Snow with the ties, yes?

- That's correct...

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The Channel 4 News that nightly grills right wing pundits?

- Yes, the very same.

The one from which no Conservative has ever escaped a jolly good ribbing?

- Yes, I mean, liberal bias in the media, hello!

Ahahaha

- Ahahaha

Well, as I said, we can offer you Boris Johnson. His unique brand of second-rate buffoonery and ability to make us all look like complete arses should be just what you're looking for.

- Certainly, we'll take him.

Thank you sir. Your booking reference will be ...

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